


Vigil

by cunningdeb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cunningdeb/pseuds/cunningdeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam works too hard, doesn't take care of himself and comes down very ill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vigil

The room was still, save for the beeping of the heart monitor and the labored breathing coming from the hospital bed. Kris sat as close to Adam as he could without getting in the bed himself, his hand resting on Adam's shoulder, gently squeezing. Adam had drifted in and out of consciousness when Kris first came into the room. At least he knows I kept my promise. The color in Adam's face hadn't gotten any better, but the oxygen tubes delicately sitting in his nostrils eased his breathing. Eventually, Adam's eyes closed, darting back and forth beneath his lids. Kris wondered what world he had escaped to for a while; he wish he could be there with him.

Last night, when they had gotten back to the hotel after the show, Adam hadn't said anything about not feeling well. He had looked tired the last few days but so had they all - this tour was more energy draining than any of them had been prepared for. Adam had sounded great at the concert although he had lowered the keys of his songs, avoided the high notes, and his now infamous moves had lost some of their electricity. None of them had thought anything of it. They figured he was just switiching things up a bit to keep his performance fresh.

They hung out, decompressing before bed. Adam didn't eat or drink anything and he was quiet - too quiet actually. Matt had called him on that, saying something about Adam's mouth never being shut. Adam gave Matt a half smile and wished them all a good night. Why hadn't any of them sensed something was seriously wrong?

Kris passed Adam's room on the way to his own. Adam's door wasn't shut. When Kris opened it, he heard heavy breathing. Afraid he was interrupting a "private moment", Kris started to close the door when he heard a whimper, a faint plea - 

"Help."

Kris hurried in and flicked on a light. Adam was sprawled on top of his bed, fully dressed and in makeup. His eyes were staring and panicked, his hands clenched at the comforter and his chest heaved. Kris took Adam's arm.

"O Lord Adam, you're burning up," he managed, his stomach in knots. He put his hands to Adam's face. A hand flew up, gripping Kris' arm in a vice.

"Help...me...can't...breathe."

Not letting go, Kris dialed 911, then he began pulling away.

"Don't leave me," Adam begged between gasps. "I'm...scared."

"I'll be right back - gotta cool you down."

Kris grabbed the empty ice bucket from the side table and hurried into the bathroom, grabbing facecloths and towels as the bucked filled with cool water. Adam's gasping echoed off the tiled walls. Kris gathered his composure - the last thing Adam needs is to see me freaking out. 

Leaving the bathroom, Kris nearly collided with Matt who must have also seen the open door.

"Yo, has the party moved in here?" Matt laughed.

Kris shoved past him. "Go downstairs, wait for the ambulance, get them up here fast."

Matt followed him into the room. "What the hell are you talk-...Adam?"

"GET DOWNSTAIRS NOW!"

Matt vanished.

Kris tried desperately to ease his friend's panic, assuring him he would be okay. He gently tried to cool Adam down. Adam had been crying, his eye makeup running in rivulets down his temples, making him appear bruised, like he had been attacked by a person, not his own body. With the makeup gone, Adam's pallor was gray. Kris saturated a clean facecloth with water and carefully wrung it out between Adam's lips. Adam went into a coughing spasm. Where the hell were the paramedics!

In answer to his prayer, they arrived. Kris stepped aside quickly, sitting on the arm of the couch. He robotically answered a paramedic's questions about Adam's name, age, etc., but never took his eyes off his best friend. They checked Adam's temperature, blood pressure, flashed light in his eyes, listened to his chest and then, carefully turning him on his side, they listened to his lungs. Two paramedics went for the gurney and the third one - the one who had grilled Kris - reported to the hospital. They were bringing Adam in.

Quickly but carefully, they lifted Adam onto the gurney. They cocooned him in blankets, strapped him in and put him on oxygen. Adam turned his head to look at Kris, his eyes pleading.

"I'll be right behind you, I promise," Kris vowed, wiping away his own tears.

Adam nodded weakly and closed his eyes.

Matt had woken everyone and they were lining the hall. Some were crying, others appeared in shock. No one spoke until the elevator doors closed.

"What happened?"

Kris heard the question but couldn't register who had asked. He paraphrased the frightening words of the paramedics, "High fever, blood pressure rising, heart racing, lungs filling with fluid."

When they arrived at the hospital, the news wasn't any better.

"Mr. Lambert has pneumonia. We've started him on antibiotics for the fever and we'll monitor him carefully. Once he's settled in his room, you can sit with him - but only two at a time."

They had all agreed to let Kris stay with Adam first. After all, no one was closer to him, except perhaps Allision, but she couldn't stop crying and they didn't want Adam upset.

The nightmare had started two hours ago. Kris rested his head on Adam's shoulder, his face so close to Adam's he could feel the faltering breath. Softly, Kris hummed one of Adam's favorite songs, "Come Home", foolishly hoping Adam would take the hint.

 

~ * ~

 

"The bed is here...the chair is here...and the emergency call button is here."

"Got it."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'll be fine."

"Well, okay." Todd walked to the door and turned. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

Todd's footsteps faded then Scott reached out to Adam. He was so still. Running his hand down Adam's arm, touching skin, then IV tubes, Scott carefully took Adam's hand, heavy and lifeless.

"I know how scared you must be," Scott quietly uttered. "I know how it is to be in the hospital. But you have all of us - your family - with you, just as I did. You'll get through this."

Scott felt the chair against the back of his legs and sat down. Todd was probably reluctant to leave him alone, afraid the memories of Scott's kidney transplant would surface; they did sometimes but Scott came through it stronger. There was no time for reliving his past - they all had to pray Adam had a future.

"I remember the first time I saw your face. You had just been a kind, considerate, musical voice til then. Remember when I started asking everyone if I could see what they looked like? You didn't say yes, just excused yourself. But you came back.

"We were alone in the kitchen. You sat in front of me, took my hands and placed them on your face. I touched your hair. It was slightly damp and loose, natural. I felt the little holes where your earrings had been. I slid my fingers over your forehead and down your nose. Your skin was a little cool and smelled of soap. I traced your cheekbones, followed your jaw line to your lips. My thumbs stopped, playing around the freckle over your top lip. I felt you pucker up and kiss my thumbs. I pulled away and we laughed.

"I should have said it then - thank you for letting me see the real you. I finally clued in you had washed away the public image, letting me see the real Adam Lambert."

"Mind if I join you two?"

"I don't need a sitter Anoop, I'm a big boy."

"Well Scotty, what if I need one?" Anoop came in and dragged up a chair. "How's our boy?"

"No change."

"That's good, or bad, depending on how you look at it."

They sat in awkward silence for a while.

"I think we were all worried this tour was gonna get to one of us eventually," Anoop mused. "I never thought it would be Adam. Nothing bad seemed to get to him. I guess, though, with all the extra demands on his time, it just wore him out. If he didn't want this dream so badly, maybe he would have pulled back a bit."

As Anoop talked, Scott sensed something was wrong - something was missing. Scott rested on hand on Adam's stomach and his other hand trailed up Adam's chest and neck until he came to his mouth. Shakily, Scott's palm hovered over Adam's still lips.

"He's not breathing!"

BBBBEEEEEEEEPPPP

 

~ * ~

 

When Scott and Anoop showed up in the waiting room, their faces did the talking. Kris ran down the hall and stopped outside Adam's room. He forced himself to look in.

God, no, no...

The medical team removed the pillow from under Adam's head and tilted his head back. Kris turned away as the doctor inserted a tube down Adam's throat. A moment later, the beep returned. There was a new sound too. WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH...

The doctor came out and saw Kris.

"I know I shouldn't be here..."

The doctor nodded. "We almost lost him. The fluid's accumulating in his lungs again, impeding his oxygen intake. We had to incubate him. I've increased the antibiotics; we need to get his temperature down."

"What if it doesn't?"

"If it gets any higher, he could suffer brain damage." The doctor saw Kris' stricken look and touched his shoulder. "We aren't finished yet."

The doctor walked away and Kris leaned against the wall. He just wanted to slide to the floor and let the pent-up tears out but the others were waiting. First though, he slipped into Adam's room, taken aback by the sight of Adam, a mechanical contraption emerging from his mouth.

Kris leaned down and kissed Adam's forehead. "Don't you dare do this to me again."

 

~ * ~

 

"There, that's better." Lil finished fixing Adam's hair. Still full of styling gel, his hair stuck up all over the place. Adam probably would have liked the look but the ladies were partial to it wispy around his sweet face. "You always like to look your best." The last word caught in her throat. She was trying to sound cheerful, optimistic, but it was hard to stay positive seeing him like this.

Lil sat down beside Megan. "Tired?"

"No," Megan answered in a drawn out breath. "I'm too worried to be tired." She was surprised how worried she was. This waiting game reminded her of a time her son was sick and all she could do was make him comfortable and let nature take its course. Of all the feelings Adam had stirred in her over the last few months, motherly concern was not one of them.

"Did you ever wish Adam was straight?

"If he were, he wouldn't our Adam, would he?"

"I guess not. Has Leila called back?"

"Yeah. Neil's on assignment and can't be reached. She and Ebert are stuck at the airport."

"Well I guess we're his family for now. He seems so small, small enough to pick up and rock."

Lil started playing with his hair again. "Do you think he'd kill me if I gave him pigtails?"

The girls laughed softly. A bead of sweat trickled down Adam's hairline to his ear, unseen beneath the wisps.

 

~ *~ 

 

"Yo, yo, yo, I'm here for my audience with the Idol Queen!" Matt sauntered into the room, trying to act as if Adam would be laughing and launching his pillow at Matt's head. Matt faltered briefly when he saw his majesty flat on his back. He had decided if he couldn't physically help Adam, he'd try waking him up laughing. Matt fought down his fear and tried to be his old self.

He turned his chair and straddled it. He gazed around, nodding his head, for once at a loss for words. "You look good considering. See the girls fixed your hair. You gotta do something about that nightgown - polka dots ain't you." He nervously laughed. He felt like an idiot.

"Look man, I'm not getting mushy but, uh, we kinda want you back. Ya see, it ain't the same." Matt cleared his throat. "We got a tour to finish and no one has the heart to do it without you, so, ah, I gotta go, yeah, I'll see ya later." He hurried out, trying to keep it together.

 

~ * ~

 

Danny started towards Adam's room with Michael but the minute he saw him unconscious in that bed, he just knew he couldn't.

"I'm sorry Adam, Michael, I, I can't do this." He backed out of the room, steadying himself again the door.

Michael was at his side. "Too soon?"

Danny nodded, said something about the chapel and left.

 

~ * ~

 

Danny was the only person in the chapel. Seeing Adam like that was too raw. Sophie hadn't regained consciousness after her surgery before he lost her. It had been a little over a year now but the pain never went away.

He kneeled. Danny had always found comfort in prayer, even during the darkest times. He said his silent intentions, made silent promises, shed silent tears. He thanked God for both of them.

 

~ * ~

 

Michael was alone with Adam for a few minutes but he didn't know what to do, what to say. He left the room and thankfully saw Kris at the end of the hall. Michael waved him over.

They sat in silence and sat in silence and sat in silence.

Kris spoke up first. "You can talk to him, you know. I'm sure he'd be happy to know you're here."

"Would he?" Michael and Adam hadn't always gotten along - they were from two different universes let alone worlds. It had changed for the better when Michael had defended him in San Jose against those hate mongers but he still didn't feel entirely comfortable around Adam.

"If Danny were here, what would you do?"

"Probably pray."

"Okay...how about we sing something, something Adam would like."

Kris tried to think of a song Michael would know as Michael started wiping Adam's face.

"What are you doing?"

"The sweats pouring off of him in buckets..."

Kris jumped to his feet and let out an elated laugh. "The fever's broke! He's going to be okay!" Michael left to fetch the nurse, pausing to look back as Kris turned his full attention to Adam. Michael smiled; he still didn't understand but he was happy for them.

Adam was soaked - his face, neck, shoulders, even his arms. Kris sat on the edge of the bed, clasping Adam's hand to his chest, stroking his damp hair. "Adam? Adam? I know you can hear me Glambert. Come on, wake up. Time to come home."

At first, Adam didn't respond and then slowly, ever so slowly, he started to come to life. His long eyelashes danced. A tear or two spilled down his face. "That's it, come on baby, open those eyes."

Adam's blue eyes opened - dazed and confused but open. He blinked slowly, his forehead furrowing. "You're in the hospital baby. You've been very sick but you're going to be alright." Adam's eyes turned to Kris then the heart monitor started beeping fast and Adam started choking, body bucking, his grip squeezing all of the blood out of Kris' hand.

 

~ * ~

 

Allison watched Adam sleep - a true sleep brought on by exhaustion and not fever. She had wanted to be with him earlier but she couldn't bear the thought of seeing her big brother, her best friend, her protector beaten down. She felt all kinds of guilt but she promised herself and Adam that she would make it up to him. She leaned in to his beautiful, peaceful face and lightly kissed his lips.

 

~ * ~

 

Adam had never been so exhausted in his life. Through his lids, he could see psychedelic lights and he could hear the chorus of muted voices around him, but he just didn't have the strength to open his eyes. He had had the weirdest dreams, like finding himself sporting pigtails and polka dots. There were tender dreams too - Kris wiping his face, Kris singing to him, Kris begging him not to go. Kris was talking to him, touching his hair, caressing his shoulder, kissing his forehead. Adam felt a kiss linger briefly on his lips and he heard himself whisper Kris. He then heard a familiar giggle and knew it was time.

The hushed voices stopped. Adam licked his dry lips and scanned the room. He was in the hospital, surrounded by his friends. They were staring at him, clutching at each other; their expressions goofy, happy and sad all at once. Their eyes were puffy and wet - what the hell!

"What the...," Adam started by his voice was guttural, scratchy and his throat hurt like a bitch. He started coughing.

Allison lifted his head forward and put a glass of water to his lips. He sipped carefully, each swallow a tortured act. He nodded when he'd had enough and then tried again.

"What...the...hell...is...wrong...with...you...guys? Some...body...dying?" The room filled with nervous laughs. "Am...I...dying?"

Matt's voice assaulted his pounding ears - it felt great. "Not for another 60 years or so princess."

"Okay, okay, everyone out. Mr. Lambert needs his rest."

The nurse ushered everyone out but in the stampede she left one small stallion behind.

Kris stood at the end of the bed. "You really scared me...us...you know. You've got to take better care of yourself."

"Sorry."

Adam reached out his hand and Kris hurried to his side, entwining their fingers together. A tear ran down Kris' cheek. "I'm not ready to lose you yet."

Using what little strength he had, Adam drew Kris close until he was on the bed, stretched out beside Adam, their heads sharing the same pillow. Their foreheads touched.

"I'm not going anywhere without you," Adam promised.


End file.
